


coming of age

by curovogel



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: (Between Red and Green), Character Study, Coming of Age, Established Relationship, F/F, M/M, Moon Has Nightmares, Pining, Spoilers, Trying something new, Unconventional Format, Unresolved Romantic Tension, mad end game spoilers, or lack thereof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:05:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curovogel/pseuds/curovogel
Summary: In which Lillie leaves and nothing feels resolved.(Alternatively, in which Moon does not come of age but some feelings do get processed.)





	

“Come back soon!” Her mom says.

She is by the doorway, finishing tying her sport shoes.

She nods and then takes off.

 

“Are you Moon?”

“Yes,” she replies and smiles at the man behind the desk, not yet tired of this routine. She clutches a few Pokedollars in her hand, looking to buy some revives.

“Wow!” He says, breathless and hands shaking as he bends down to unlock the cabinet. “That means that you can purchase even _more_ items. You’re the first ever Alola champion, after all!”

The smile doesn’t leave her face but something hurts a bit more.

 

She thinks about it.

The trials. The Pokemon. The people.

She closes her eyes and sees Lusamine fused with Nihilego. Lusamine with narrow eyes, a manic grin, black hair. Her additional seven limbs. The eyes on the tentacles pulsing, twitching fervently. Alternating between staring at her or her Pokemon or Lillie, as if it couldn’t decide which one it hated more.

“What do you do with Pokemon you don’t use anymore?” Lusamine whispers nastily in her ear. “You throw them aside. How is that so different than what I’ve been doing?”

 

She beat the Elite Four with only four Pokemon.

Pikachu. Mimikyu. Tsareena. Primarina.

Two more slots. She could have bonded with two more Pokemon. 

 

“The Battle Tree!” Hau says when she asks him where he’s going. “After all, I need to get stronger!”

No, you don’t, she thinks as she stares at her hands.

 

Lusamine is always there when she dreams.

“They will be contained forever,” Lusamine purrs and reaches over to wrap her arms around her, her hair spilling over the two of them. Moon's staring at the frozen Pikachu, her head pounding loudly in her chest. “Isn’t that beautiful?”

No, she wants to say. But Lusamine releases her and suddenly, she can’t move.

She’s completely frozen.

“Stay beautiful,” Lusamine whispers as she places a hand on the ice, her eyes dangerously tender.

 

“Pikachu!” Pikachu squeezes its eyes shut, mouth slightly agape in pleasure as her fingers curl underneath its chin.

It jumps up in joy, its limbs spread out, and momentarily stays like that in the air. Then it’s back down on the ground, swaying ecstatically.

It is just enough to send her over the edge.

 

“So,” Hau tilts his head, hands wrapped around a Spicy Malasada. They meet every week for a battle then lunch. Loser foots the bill.

He’s paying.

“You evolved your Pikachu?” The Spicy Malasada is quick to disappear; her own Bitter Malasada remains untouched except for two bites. “Were you envious of my Raichu? That Psychic type _really_ comes in handy!”

She smiles. Sneaks a bit of malasada under the table. It leaves her hands and floats over to Raichu’s mouth.

 

“Hey!” Green says, leaning forward. He’s got a cocky grin on his face. “You’re Moon, right?”

It’s Green, she realizes faintly. Coming out to Poni Island, making it through the trail to get here, to the foot of the Battle Tree, she feels a bit delirious. Her idol is here.

Slowly, her eyes trail from him to the other silent male.

Red.

He stares at her coolly. She stares right back, her mind swimming.

The two of them? Here?

Green taps his foot. He’s expecting a response.

“Yes,” she replies. Because she is.

“Haha, right on the money! I told you, Red.” He cheers, as if there was any doubt. But Green is never wrong, so she’s a little bit confused. “The name’s Green. This guy over here is Red.”

Before she can stop herself, she blurts out: “I know that.”

Green stares at her, his hand paused up in the air.

“I know who you two are.” Her heart pounds. “I’m—you, I came from Kanto.”

“Did you?” Green laughs and crosses his arms. “And you became the champion of Alola!”

“Yes,” she says. “You two were my—“

Were.

“You two _are_ my idols,” she corrects herself with a shake of her head. “And um, Green, you’re, um, you were really influential in, um, my desire to become a Pokemon, um, trainer in the first place. I, um, love, um, how you work with your, um, Pokemon.” She feels dizzy and she’s out of breath.

This is the most she’s spoken at once in a long time. She doesn’t remember the last time she spoke more than a monosyllable. Or a string of more than three words. But Red never spoke, she remembers. And Green is here with him, laughing and slinging an arm around his shoulders like it doesn’t phase him at all.

“That’s nice of you,” Green smiles and god, he’s so at ease. So different than the old VHS tapes that she’d play again and again, watching as two ten year old prodigies battled it out against each other.

But then he became Gym Leader Green. And Red disappeared.

“What do you say to that, Red?” He turns, hand on his hip. Prompting.

Red stares at her and crosses his arms. He’s contemplating.

“Well, it’s not every day that you meet your idols.” Green laughs. “And listen, we’re both trainers, right?”

Oh no, Moon thinks. There’s only two Pokemon at full health on her team.

“So how about a battle? Which one of us’ll you choose?”

 

Green became a gym leader and chased out despair from Viridian City. He rebuilt the city with his two hands, organized committees to heal the deep wounds that Team Rocket left on people’s minds. He fixed the dilapidated buildings with one hand and built community parks with the other.

He gave the citizens something to feel proud about.

 

And Red disappeared.

 

She chooses Red.

 

Red pulls his caps over his eyes, head bowed, mouth turned down.

In a mature fashion, he counts out his money. Puts it in her hands.

It’s a lot, she thinks as she holds it in her hands. 36,960.

Half of it is from the Luck Incense that Mimikyu is holding. She was strapped for funds at the time that she made that impulsive purchase. Gracidea just opened in the mall and she needed the hat that she is currently wearing. Makes it easier to avoid eye contact.

But now she feels bad. He’s handing over money that he was going to spend on himself. Maybe Green. Maybe the two of them.

Green looks onward, eyebrows raised. But he takes Red’s loss in stride and continues to talk about waiting at the top of the Battle Tree.

They’re about to walk away.

She should say something. It wasn’t a fair fight. She used twenty Full Restores. Red didn’t use a single healing item. She used Mimikyu as a Pokemon shield because it could take at least a hit with its Disguise while she worked on restoring her other three teammates to full health. This isn’t how she battles.

The victory doesn’t feel good.

“Next time,” she says and Red looks at her, eyes half lidded. “Next time it’ll be fair. I won’t battle like this when I meet you again.”

Red quirks his lip and nods.

“Next time,” she says and it feels like a promise.

 

And Red disappeared.

 

She enters a Pokemon Center to heal her Pokemon—there’s been sightings of Corsola herds on the move and she remembered Mareanie’s Pokedex entry. Now she’s here to make sure that they can migrate safely.

A man approaches her. “You’ve got a delivery,” he smiles, “from Kanto. Have a friend over there?”

She takes the letter greedily. Her name is printed in cursive on the front, Moon, in waxy gold letters. There’s an old wax seal with a cursive L. She doesn’t have to imagine who it’s from.

 

Lillie is having a great time in Kanto.

She attaches photos of her smiling next to a Tauros. People don’t ride them over there, she notes. A picture of her holding up a strange colored disk. Her writing tells her what it is. It’s an HM! I didn’t know that you had to teach a Pokemon to swim. Isn’t that so bizarre?

A picture of a bicycle. And the price tag.

This is what people ride instead! She muses. But would it be bad to wear it with my skirt? Also—look at that price. Who has the money to afford that?! Kanto people are something else.

 

It starts as a small whisper.

It’s not fair, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Lusamine says in the back of her head. How come she gets to go through this entire journey when she took over yours? When your Pokemon journey wasn’t _really_ about you? That you journeyed through all the islands so that at the end, you only helped her reach her resolution with her mother? What about you? What about your own self discovery?

Even at the end, when they held a festival for you, for _your_ sake, she pulled you away.

And she left the very next day.

Isn’t it nice? She asks herself. Lillie’s finally being who she wanted to be.

She wants to be you. She reminds herself, firmly. And you are kind. You are selfless. You are strong.

You are not hateful and envious and selfish and scared and horrible.

You are not weak.

 

And Red disappeared.

 

“You’re Moon, aren’t you!” The man says from behind the café. All she wants some Komala Coffee. “This is on the house then.”

It’s only 198 Pokedollars. Him refusing to let her pay for it shouldn’t feel like the end of the world.

“All this time,” the man muses and shakes his head, “I cannot believe that I was giving advice to the first ever Alola champion! How foolish—looks like you don’t need my advice at all.”

She stares at him. Smile, she reminds herself. It’s a bit tighter this time around.

“Here’s some Pokebeans, on the house!” He chortles and winks.

It’s 100 Pokebeans.

She takes it mechanically and puts it in her bag.

“Come back! It’ll be good for business,” he laughs and she smiles.

 

“Moon!” Hau says and smiles.

She’s sitting on the champion throne. Her hands rest easy on the armchairs and she stares at him, smile on her lips.

“I made it this far, too!” He grins. “But I’m not done yet. After all, there’s still a trainer right in front of me that I’ve got to overcome!” He looks excited. He must be—he beat his grandfather to get here. That means that he can challenge him for the kahuna title and win this time.

How do you do it? She wants to ask him. How do you stay this positive?

She stands up. Takes a few steps forward. Raichu’s Pokeball is in her hand.

Come.

 

Lillie would have loved this.

But Lillie doesn’t get to see this. Because she left.

 

Standing across from Hau, with the clouds lazily passing by as the sun shines over the region of Alola behind him, Moon realizes something.

Hau has gotten stronger. A lot stronger.

He still can’t beat her though. She beat everyone in Alola. She is the strongest Pokemon trainer in Alola.

But, Hau has gotten stronger in the _real_ way. In the important way that she can only dream of achieving.

“It’s hard to be strong enough to admit that you’re weak… You know?” Hau smiles and rubs the back of his head, sheepish.

It is, she agrees. You’re stronger than me.

 

“You’re the Alola champion, aren’t you?” The woman asks her, purple hair neatly tied back. “I’m Anabel—I have something that I’d like to discuss with you.”

She doesn’t want to smile. But it would be rude. She’s been smiling ever since she’s come to this region.

When Anabel tells her what they're asking her to do, she feels tired all the way to her bones.

"Will you join us?"

Does she have a choice?

 

She catches Nihilego but the nightmares don't stop. 

 

“The first ever Alola champion,” her mom used to call her, pressing a kiss atop of her head. “I can’t tell you how proud I am—I never expected that my daughter would become someone so great.”

And she would smile. Because that is who she was.

But her mom doesn’t call her that anymore. She can tell how much it bothers her.

Quietly, Moon wishes that she hugged her mom more.

 

“As the defending champion, you have the honor of watching these kids grow up to become strong trainers!” Kukui tells her, a wide grin on his face.

 

She’s only 11.

 

And Red disappeared.

 

She doesn’t write back to Lillie. But the letters keep on coming.

Look! Lillie gushed. They call this Pokemon a Dewgong. Isn’t it so cute? The tail reminds me of your Primarina. It’s a final evolution as well. There’s so much Pokemon here that remind me of Alola. I find a little bit of you in everything I do.

 

“Mount Silver was his struggle,” Green tells her one day when she’s at the top of the Battle Tree, her fists clenched. She beat him, just barely, and wipes the sweat from her brow. She can’t believe that she beat him.

His struggle. He says it plainly, like they all go through growing pains that consist of retreating to a mountain for two years.

“You will have your own journey soon,” Green laughs and pats her on the head. But that’s just it, she wants to say petulantly. The island trials were supposed to be _my_ journey! But she holds her tongue.

“Don’t grow up too fast.”

He’s not that much older than her in terms of years, but he’s older than her in terms of experience. Conventional wisdom. Unconventional wisdom. He’s seen it all. He’s experienced it all. And he’s ready to enjoy the sights and sounds of Alola at his own leisure.

 

Lusamine appears again in her dream.

Did you miss me? Lusamine laughs and flickers out, only to be replaced by Nihilego. I missed you. Come here—quickly, love. Nihilego chirps happily and the screams of pain echo as it comes closer and closer, finally merging with her until she doesn’t know where she ended and the other Pokemon began.

She wakes up covered in sweat. Her heart is still pounding.

 

She tries not to dream after that. It’s hard. But she tries.

 

Hau wrote me about everything that he’s been doing, Lillie says. You must be so busy as the first ever Alola champion! I hope that these letters aren’t too much of a bother. I just like to think that you’re the only one privy to my adventure, from start to finish. It was like that between you and me. Not even Hau was there when we went to the—

 

She’s buying skin moisturizer for her mother—straight from plump Pyukumukus! the label boasts—when she sees the magazine.

It’s a gossip magazine that she’s not terribly interested in. But on the cover are Red and Green, so it piques her interest and she finds herself going over to take a look.

TWO STARS FROM KANTO! The magazine’s bold and bright text reads. COMING OVER TO LEND THEIR BATTLE EXPERTISE TO THE BATTLE TREE… AND MORE?!

In the cover of the magazine, the two of them are standing hip to hip. They’re leaving Hau’oli City’s mall. Red’s face is perfectly nonchalant, as it always is. But his arm is snaked around Green’s back, his hand resting on the other man’s hip. Green’s face is slightly turned to Red, a smile on his face and his posture is relaxed.

Huh. She thinks. Huh.

She flips it open to the center spread and there they are again, out on the beach this time.

Green’s got his hands around a Big Malasada—the rest of his Pokemon team is out, obviously curious about what exactly this snack is. Red’s Pokemon are out as well and the interaction is so lively between them that she can envision the scene if she closes her eyes.

Arcanine with Charizard, stuffing their faces with Spicy Malasada. Venusaur using its vines to hold malasadas up high with Alakazam using its Psychic to levitate the buns as Pikachu jumps in the air in an attempt to snatch one. Gyarados out in the water with Lapras. Blastoise, Charizard, and Machamp jokingly measuring Exeggutor’s height. Aerodactyl perched near Green, pecking at a malasada on a beach towel. Snorlax sleeping in the sun’s rays, its trainer leaning against it, his own malasada in his lap.

And Red.

Red’s smiling.

 

She buys the magazine.

 

She catches Red and Green at Hapo Beach.

Green waves her over and she hurries over, magazine rolled up and clutched in her hand.

“What is this?” Green asks when she presents it to him, pulling down his shades to give it a better look.

He reads the cover.

Then he laughs—no, laughing would be too young. Privately, she hopes that it’s not a misnomer to say that he guffaws, full bellied laughter as he takes off his sunglasses to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Red!” Green does a cross between a yell and a gasp. Red perks up from where he was building a sandcastle with Pikachu and quickly comes over, eyes wide.

“Oh, it’s not like that,” Green waves him off and Red relaxes to his default expression. “Take a look at this.”

Red looks at the cover.

“The Battle Tree… And more?!” Green hums in sheer delight. “What a scandal!”

She looks between the two of them, her expression worried. Maybe it hadn’t been the smartest thing to do.

Red takes the magazine and flips through it, finally stopping at the center spread of the two of them. He sits down next to Green and leans over, their shoulders pressing against each other as they begin to read.

Green laughs at every other sentence. “‘—and his muscles are just the cherry on top!’—let me take a picture to send to Daisy,” and Red pulls the brim of his cap over his face to hide the light dusting of red there.

“Moon?” Green eventually says when they’re done looking. Red hovers nearby, looking straight at her. “Thanks for showing us.”

She gestures to the magazine, confused about something that she can’t quite put her finger on.

Red gives it back to her. She pockets it. Then, suddenly embarrassed, she ducks her head and runs away.

 

She figures it out later when she’s stewing in her thoughts.

She’s sitting next to the ice stone in Mount Lanikila, the chill keeping her tired eyes awake as she reads over Lillie’s letters.

But Red left, she wants to say to Green. Irrational anger fills her. And he took everything from you. The championship. The journey. The resolution. The coming of age story was for him! The region of Kanto revolved around him even though you were _right there_! And then he just left. Doesn’t that make you mad? How can you just enjoy—how can you be happy that he’s happy? When he left you behind? When he didn't even  _ask_ you if you wanted to come along? When you worked so hard for a future where the two of you could explore together without having to worry about anything? When she held your hand and kissed your cheek and whispered that she was glad to have met you, but clearly not glad enough to take you along with her?

Woah, she thinks and wills herself to take five steps back. What is going on?

Woah.

 

“I’m hurt,” she says out loud. Her heart pounds in her chest.

 

She sets up a tent and crawls inside. She lets out her Pokemon, her four companions idly watching as she pulls out a piece of parchment and writes her response to Lillie.

The letter starts out with:

Hey Lillie! Sorry that I haven’t been writing back—

Hey Lillie! I’m so happy that you’re having fun in Kanto—

Hey Lillie! Good to hear from you. Man, Kanto looks great. Did you know that you only have to be 10 to have your own Pokemon journey? We could have gone—

Hey Lillie! Kanto sounds great!

Hey Lillie—

Lillie—

Dear Lillie—

 

Dear Lillie,

Why did you leave—

Why didn’t you tell me—

Why—

 

Dear Lillie,

I still dream about the other dimension. I still dream about your mom attacking us; about if Nebby got to you too late and what she’d do to you in her desperation. But you were the one who was okay after all of that. You were determined and happy and courageous and selfless. You knew that you couldn’t give Nebby the adventure that it wanted so you gave it to me and it feels so unfair, because you did all of these amazing things and it feels like I didn’t do anything but you kept saying things that made it seem like I was amazing and unreachable. But you’re the amazing one. And when you say things like it’s cool that I know what I want to do after the island trials, I wasn’t telling the truth. I don’t know what I want to do. I’m only eleven. How can I possibly know? How can I possibly be the strongest person here in Alola—

 

Dear Lillie,

I miss you.

When are you coming back?

I wish that we could have explored Alola together at our own pace, instead of rushing to save Guzma and your mom. I wish that I could have taken you to see all the meadows and all the different forms of Oricorio. I wish that you didn’t have to leave so soon.

 

“I’m lonely.” She realizes halfway through writing. These are letters she is never going to send. Tsareena looks over to her, hand on its hip. It's the only one who hasn’t fallen asleep. Mimikyu is snuggled against her side, a ghostly hand coming out to protectively wrap around her middle. Primarina and Raichu are curled up next to each other.

“But I’m not alone.” She tastes the phrase. “I’m lonely but not alone. Isn’t that weird?” She turns to Tsareena for confirmation.

Tsareena looks at her, unblinking. Then it turns away.

“I guess not,” she murmurs.

 

He picks up on the fifth ring.

“Professor Kukui speaking, who is this?” His voice says.

“Professor,” she replies. Does she say anything else?

“Hey, Moon!” He says cheerfully, recognizing her immediately. Relief floods her. “How are you?”

“How do I do this,” her voice doesn’t crack and she’s so grateful.

“Do what?” Kukui asks. She can picture his posture if she closes her eyes. He’s standing with his phone pressed against his ear and a hand on his hip.

“Be the first ever Alola champion,” she mumbles. “How do I—improve Alola?”

“Oh man,” Kukui says, “that’s a tall order! But I definitely feel you, cousin; that’s why I made the Pokemon league in the first place. Why don’t you come on down to my lab and we can discuss this in person?”

She hangs up and calls Charizard.

 

A new magazine is in the stores.

She’s on the cover, her hands outstretched and her right foot forward. Primarina is in front of her in the middle of using Sparkling Aria. Tsareena is behind them, leg extended as it breaks a falling boulder in two.

FIRST EVER ALOLA CHAMPION DEFIES MOTHER NATURE, the text reads. SAVES AKALA ISLAND FROM FLASH FLOOD DESTRUCTION.

_"I don't just want to be an inspiration," the Alola Champion says as a child clutches her hand, tears welling up in his eyes. This young Preschooler's home was destroyed but there are no civilian nor Pokemon causalities due to the Alola Champion's involvement. However, parts of Akala Island remain uninhabitable due to rain causing the sewer system to overflow, resulting in a sewage spill that polluted parts of the island’s south shore. "I want to do something tangible for Alola. I love this place. When that person comes back, I want them to love Alola too."_

_But who is that someone? The Champion refused to say, simply turning to return the child to his parent. How mysterious!_

 

There's still a special about Red and Green riding a Lapras while holding hands two pages after her interview. She buys the magazine and bookmarks the page.

And just like normal, she battles her way up to them. They laugh about the paparazzi and then she fights them.

 

And that’s okay. She nods. It can wait. She can wait.

 

She goes home.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://sawamuracchi.tumblr.com/)
> 
> this was weird because i started this out with moon and red parallels and ended with moon and green parallels
> 
> also if you really liked this, please go check out [Missed Signals, Lost Lines](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4239666/) by Cryptographic_Delurk!! that fic revolutionized everything about how i view the pokemon world; easily one of the best pokemon works.


End file.
